.ten thousand promises.

I make this solemn promise to you:

To be your lover when you need to be loved,
your doctor when you are ill,
your army when you go to war,
your umbrella when life rains down on you,
your rock when you get weary,
your shield when you need defense,
your spirit when you are drained,
your pillow when you need to rest,
your voice when no one can hear you,
your ear when no one will listen,
your comfort when you feel pain,
your hero when you are under duress,
your sunshine when darkness falls,
your answer when questions arise,
your inspiration to overcome obstacles,
your hand to hold when you are frightened,
your kiss that wakes you everyday,
and your "I love you" each and every night.

I am yours... all of me.

I love the way you make me so happy,
And the ways you show you care.
I love the way you say, "I Love You,"
And the way you're always there.

.u are my double BF.

.u are my double BF.
as in boyfriend and bestfriend.

i can love u.
i can yell at u.
i can call u bitch.
coz u are my bestfriend.

i can hate u.
i can hug u.
i can kiss u.
coz u are my bestfriend.

u own the shoulder for me to cry on.
and the other shoulder for me to lean on.
u own the ears which listen to my voice.
and wipe the tears which rolling from my eyes.
u wrap me with your arms.
and comfort me with your warm.
u are my bestfriend.
oh, my bestest friend, i should add.

u are my syg.
u are my soulmate.
u are my future.
and most of all, u are my bestfriend.

.gule-gule kapas perise berihitam.

.tercipta untukku.

:: 24 sept. 2009. cincin tersarung di jari manis. ::

kronologi hati.

julai 2008.
-sy baru sedar kewujudan dia. tetapi tidak sampai ke tahap bertegur sapa. hanye sekadar pandangan kosong, 'hai', itu saje. kdg2 sms dikirim. kekerapan, muleh dikire dgn jari.

september 2008.
-mula berbalas sms semule setelah menyepi sepanjang ogos. tiade isu yang dibangkitkan melainkan berkongsi pengalaman tentang ape rase disakiti dan mase silam. selebihnye, hanye perbualan kosong yg sehingga ke hari ini baru sy sedar, itu bkn bualan kosong, sebaliknye kami sdg mengenali hati dan budi masing-masing. sy baru tersedar itu! disebalik cerite2 dan pengalaman2 yg di kongsi, tahulah sy bahawe kami ade persamaan. kami berade di situasi yang same. dan kami berade di dlm kepompong yang same. persoalannya, sampai bile kami nak berade di takuk lame???

oktober 2008.
-perhubungan kami maseh seperti biase. cume yg lainnye, hati kami. dia membuat pengakuan sudah menyukai sy, walaupun secare perlahan-lahan. sy maseh tiade perubahan di hati. maseh menganggap kami berkawan. i need him and he needs me as we were in the same situation. we need each other to compliment each other. thats it! kami keseorangan. kami memerlukan seseorang utk menjadi teman berbicara, disamping menjadi pendengar yang setia. perasaan sy terhadap die berubah setelah sy tahu die adelah org yg pertama yg saye carik tatkale bangun dari tido. die adelah suare terakhir yg sy ingin dgr sebelum sy masuk tdo. sy sudah berubah. sy sudah tidak seperti dulu. dan paling penting, he's the one who put back that smile on my face after 2 fucking years.

november 2008.
-things get more serious. sy mahu tahu status kami. siape sy di hati dia. tp dia tidak bersedia utk semue tu lagi. dan sy terase seperti dipermainkan kerana dia maseh mengharap pade kenangan lama. perkara pertama sy nak buat, mengundur diri sebaik saje bangun dari tdo esok hari. but how am i going to do that if he is the first person i want to meet, the first voice i want to hear and the first eyes i want to stare as soon as i woke up??? keadaan ni betol2 sukar. dan membuntukan. perkara terbaik yg sy lakukan, mendiamkan diri. tp tidak lame. hati sy tidak kuat.

disember 2008.
-things were still like shit. but i just go with the flow. kalau ade, adelah. kalau tiade, mungkin ade seseorang yg lebih baik utk sy. atau seseorang yg lebih baik utk dia. we never know. i have really tried my very best to convince him. things get more complicated and we fight like hell, on the new year's eve. but i guess it was all worth it.

januari 2009.
we are an item! i don't know what have got into his mind until he made this decision. it was the new day of the year for us to start a new life as a soulmate. i just didn't know about anything except, i start to love him more and more each and every day.

febuari 2009.
mcm org lain yg pernah bercinte. mase baru-baru ni, sumenye indah, sumenye manis, sumenye suke. actually, we are still getting to know each other. we started doing all things together as we worked at the same place. nothing much happens beside, i love him more than i did last month. =)

march 2009.
adatlah org bercinta. kdg2 ade jugak isu yg nak di bangkitkan. tu sume rencah perhubungan je tuh. hmm hmm. so far we could handle all the problems, successfully. hehe... though it came along with the tears. haha... air mata sy dan air mata dia.

april, may, jun, julai, ogos 2009.
pejam celik pejam celik, da setahun kenal dia. byk yg sy dah tahu pasal dia, and byk yg die da tahu pasal sy. adil la kan... his family knows me and my family knows him too. we started to talk about engagement and wedding. mcm kelakar kan. but this is SERIOUS. OMG, i love this guy a lot.

september 2009.
cincin merisik sudah selamat disarungkan di jari sy. alhamdulilah. segala yg dirancang, sikit demi sikit kami merealitikannya. we are a one step closer to happiness.

oktober 2009.
he starts working at a new place, and so do i. wah kami sudah bercinta jarak jauh. tp watever it is, we put trust in each other. so basically tahts the story of us. and more to come next year as we plan to get engaged, and soon, getting married.

to my syg. now i know why do i love u so much.
because u put back that smile on my face.
tq syg.
i love u.

suke lagu ini.

Takkan pernah habis air mataku
Bila ku ingat tentang dirimu
Mungkin hanya kau yang tahu
Mengapa sampai saat ini ku masih sendiri

Adakah disana kau rindu padaku
Meski kita kini ada di dunia berbeda
Bila masih mungkin waktu berputar
Kan kutunggu dirimu …

Biarlah ku simpan sampai nanti aku kan ada di sana
Tenanglah diriku dalam kedamaian
Ingatlah cintaku kau tak terlihat lagi
Namun cintamu abadi …

aku ada kerna kau pun ada.

tatkala kita berjauhan
tatkala kau tiada disisi
tatkala semuanya bersendirian
aku tahu bahawa kau ada.
kau ada di setiap kerdipan mataku
kau ada di setiap helaan nafasku
kau ada di setiap degupan jantungku

tatkala aku jauh dari mu
tatkala kirimu kosong tanpa aku
tatkala tgnmu tak terpegang tgn ku
kau harus tahu bahawa aku ada
aku ada di segenap hatimu
aku ada di setiap denyutan nadimu
aku ada di setiap tuturan katamu

bila berjauhan
puluhan rindu dikumpul
kenapa bila jauh baru kita tahu menghargai?
kenapa bila jauh baru terasa kehilangan?
kenapa bila jauh baru menyesali kesilapan diri?
itu baru jauh dgn jarak.
belom jauh dgn masa.
jauh jarak masih boleh di rapatkan.
jauh masa apa solusi yg kita ada?

sementara berkesempatan
sementara berpeluang
hargailah dia
hargailah hubungan kita sebelum ini
hargailah hubungan kita sekarang
hargailah hubungan yg kita rancang utk masa depan.

bkn mudah utk membina hubungan
lagi payah utk mengekalkan hubungan.
apatah lagi utk memastikan kebahagiaan
tp terlalu cepat utk meruntuhkan hubungan
terlalu pantas utk melupakan
dan terlalu lekas berkalih perasaan.

hubungan wujud kerana aku ada.
aku ada kerana kau ada.
kerana adanya kau dan aku
maka adalah hubungan kita.

selalulah ada dengan aku walaupun kau jauh.
walau kau tidak ternampak dek mata.
tetapi kehadiran kau terasa dek hati.